Poor Joke - Welcome Back : The Bugle's Verdict

Uday and Majnu are back... why??!! Whoever came up with the idea for a sequel to these fools’ story deserves a round of super-slow claps. The only thing that this film by Anees Bazmee was successful in, is proving that Bollywood producers and sequels don’t really fit in the same sentence, except this one of course.

Same storyline, same characters sans Akshay and Katrina, and impeccably ghastly performances by an otherwise decent star line-up, render Welcome Back the candidate for worst film of 2015.

Uday and Majnu have left their gangster lives for a legitimate hotel business, when its revealed that Uday has a second step-sister he never knew about (Yeah, apparently his dad’s quite the player), who must be married if the duo wishes to be part of the fake swayamvar organised by con-women Dimple Kapadia and her daughter (played by newcomer Ankita Srivastava).

Uday and Majnu caught coochee-kooing

And who’s better for this situation than Dr. Ghungroo, the duo’s very own ‘shareef’ bridegroom reserve. Things turn awry for them when its revealed that Ghungroo’s son is apparently not as ‘shareef’ as they supposed him to be.

Rest of the plot you can probably assume, if you've seen Welcome.

The story is painful, lame, but thankfully, forgettable. Truly, the only thing one will remember about this film after watching it is the memory of those painful 2 and a half hours, and that beautiful bucket of cheese popcorn.

Nana Patekar and Anil Kapoor were supposed to be the saving grace for this bad joke. If just they weren’t enough, there were 2 Nanas!! So one can understand how bad the script was, when even their antics illicit nothing ahead of the usual eggs and tomatoes. Anil Kapoor was a sad departure from his recent offering in Dil Dhadakne Do.

John ‘Protein Shake’ Abraham was so, so, so bad, that he was good. He’s supposed to be a brash, stupid sort of street thug, and the bland expressions and stiff dance moves somehow get the job done (Reverse psychology, you see). Shruti Haasan fails at handling her stooping lip job, let alone her rusting acting skills.

New members to the cast are Dimple Kapadia, Naseeruddin Shah and Shiney Ahuja. Dimple’s ordinary, Naseer as a blind crime-lord is immensely pathetic. Shiney on the other hand does decently well as the drug-fuelled, maniac son of Naseer.

Newcomer Ankita Srivastava needs enrolling into an acting institute. ASAFP.

Verdict – 1 out of 5 stars

Nana's reaction to the rating

A film can't be rated in integers. Welcome Back could probably set a precedent. 

I tried to have a good time. I genuinely did. But all this movie was able to accomplish was ruin my memories of the first film. Why, Anees, why?!! 

Rocky Climb - Manjhi The Mountain Man : The Bugle's Verdict

It’s quite sad that the biopic honouring a man such as Dashrath Manjhi should leak online almost 3 weeks prior to release. That being said, Manjhi released this friday, starring Nawazuddin Siddiqui in the eponymous lead. Fans of the actor, that have grown in explosive numbers, especially since the Gangs of Wasseypur duology, will be thronging the theatres regardless of the online leak. For all others, let’s see how much justice this movie does to the history of the Mountain Man.

Story (pocket book version) – Dashrath Manjhi was a labourer whose lady-love, Faguniya (Falguni Devi), died upon slipping off a mountain that stood in between his village and the closest town, Wazirganj, thereby reducing the reach of medical facilities. Her death sets the man off on a mission to make a road through the mountain, that would eventually shorten the travel distance between the two places from 70 kms to a mere 15 kms, over a period of 22 years.

If you’d remember the Gangs of Wasseypur films, then you’d recall the slick, smooth portrayal of the average Bihari, so easy-flowing and so natural, that one is completely lost, pleasantly, despite all the abuses and the gore and the excessive depiction of cannabis. It’s a wonder why the same can’t be said for any other film set in Bihar. Manjhi joins the league of the said category of movies, where every line of the script, every joke, the sets – seem like they’re part of a high school theatre club’s setting.

Manjhi is an uphill climb through clichéd narratives, stereotypical Bihari performances and the unreasonable compulsory length of a masala Bollywood film. The reason that this is sad, in this scenario, is because Manjhi was not the run-of-the-mill masala film. Director Ketan Mehta’s project was ambitious and could have told, very beautifully, the story of the man who broke down a mountain for the sake of his love. Instead, the film tells all sorts of stories, addresses all sorts of side issues, while beating around the bush with the epicentre of the film i.e. MANJHI. There are sub-plots within sub-plots about untouchability, naxalites, economic conditions of Bihar, and all other things you’d associate with rural Bihar, that after a point, viewer’s start asking, “All that’s fine, but where does Manjhi figure in all of this?”

Maybe the filmmakers had intended to show that Manjhi accomplished heavy, despite all sorts of wacky odds: but then again, they failed at it, resulting into a movie that is more of a political satire rather than a biopic. Some hopes were vested in the people playing the satirical Biharis, with a powerful cast comprising Prashant Narayanan (Murder 2 fame), Tigmanshu Dhulia, Pankaj Tripathi (Sultan in GOW), etc. but even their efforts were belittled owing to the heavily dragging themes that bring nothing that may be beneficially required for telling Manjhi’s story. 

The only saving grace to this over-burdened tale, are the leading pair – Nawaz and Apte. Nawazuddin is a visual treat. He, though playing around in the same ballpark that his performances have been stereotyped into, manages to whip up something new, as always, further stepping up his game from his laudable performance in Bajrangi Bhaijaan. His version of Manjhi is correctly measured and overflowing with emotions at all times – whether it’s his love for wife Faguniya, or his verging-on-insane obsession and love-hate relationship with the mountain.

Radhika Apte does well as Faguniya, the humble wife and the ultimate catalyst to the village’s development at the hands of her doting husband.    

Verdict – 2 ½ out of 5 stars

“Shaandaar! Jabarjast!! Jindaabaad!!!” - the comment doesn't apply to the movie as well as it might to Nawaz.

Manjhi, along with all its distractions and side events, passes by like a medium paced train on a rocky terrain, with the Mountain man’s story flashing by at random intervals, lost somewhere amongst all the hullabaloo. Truth be told, few would have been able to tolerate this rocky journey, if it hadn’t been for Nawazuddin Siddiqui’s humbly grand presence, and the curiosity to know the tale behind the Mountain Man. 

Mixed Martial Masala - Brothers : The Bugle's Verdict

Dharma Productions tries to do a solid, and makes a legitimate copy of a Hollywood film, unlike the other 90% of Bollywood films. Last official Hollywood remake was Bang Bang, ‘inspired’ from Knight and Day. Like it, Brothers too, keeps up the good work, and proves that spray-painting something golden, doesn’t make it gold, something in this case being the quintessential Bollywood masala film.

Brothers, the official remake of the Tom Hardy, Nick Nolte and Joel Edgerton-starrer, Warrior, follows the exact same plot-line and climax as the original, with minor twists to the story. So those who have seen the first, skip ahead to the next paragraph. For the uninitiated, the film is about a dysfunctional family of wrestlers... sorry, ‘MMA fighters’ (I never knew that the MMA scene was that strong in India). Anyhow. David (Akshay) and Monty (Sidharth) are step-brothers, and sons of Gary Fernandes (Jackie), a recovering alcoholic who has served time in prison for the accidental murder of his wife, Maria (Shefali Shah). A turn of events and individual desperations leads both brothers to an international MMA championship being organised at Mumbai, where they emerge against all odds to face each other as finalists.

Bad direction, a bad script, and excessive use of slow-motion render this film a sad waste of 2 hours and 38 minutes of precious time. The story is commendable. Way richer than Warrior, Brothers comes packed with a lot of emotional content. The problem is, director Karan Malhotra loses control somewhere in this emotional sea, putting out over-stretched, artificial fight sequences, that are the polar opposite of what one would expect from a gripping MMA fight.

Jackie Shroff delivers one of his most moving performances, playing a man who has nothing left in his life but regrets, and wishes to make amends with his estranged family. Everything is right in his equation – the trembling, the shivers, and the abusive drunkenness. Akshay Kumar is not bad, but then again, not that good. He passes off convincingly enough as a doting family man, who is ready to fight any battles for his sick daughter. Sidharth Malhotra is straight-faced and plastic. Shefali Shah does an expected good job in the role of the boys' mother. 

Dharma Productions gave a dull shot this time, with a bulb that tried to shine so bright, it fused right out. Over-the-top dialogues, a cartoonish supporting cast that includes Ashutosh Rana and Kiran Kumar, and an extremely artificial sports setting, just add to the insipidity that this film wasn’t lacking upon in the first place.

Verdict – 1 ½ out of 5 stars

I know it was a bad movie bro! I know ours was better! Please don't cry!!

Every few years or so, someone comes up with the grand idea of a sports film that intends to elevate the popularity for the featured sport in India. Brothers tries to hold the mantle for the sport of Mixed Martial Arts, and fails magnificently. 

Ethan Dynamite - Mission Impossible - Rogue Nation : The Bugle's Verdict

It is impossible for a genuine Hollywood buff to effectively ignore an MI instalment, especially so if they are Tom Cruise fans. Despite the repetitive story layout, and the beaten-to-a-pulp character descriptions, the American James Bond series manages to hold its own in the market, and for obvious reasons.

<GUILTY PLEASURE ALERT>

It’s the same old dynamite stick concept with Rogue Nation: a ticking clock of guns, technology, face masks and crashing BMWs, leading upto the destruction of the plans of a terrorist mastermind.

With Rogue Nation, the MI series takes on the same comic-book-meets-reality action, returning to its roots in the popular television series of the same name, with the introduction of the Syndicate, a nemesis entity for the IMF, which functions exactly opposite to the IMF’s ways.  

The story is familiarly predictable, and the stunts are getting redundant, if not less high-octane. Tom Cruise whips up his most popular persona as Ethan Hunt – a charismatic, sensitive, highly flexible (that came out wrong) super-spy.

At the beginning of the film, a US senator states that the success of Hunt’s missions has always been dependant on sheer luck. It’s funny. He had to wait for 5 films to arrive at this conclusion??

Rebecca Fergusson plays the female lead; a disawowed agent working undercover in the Syndicate. Quite the muscular girl, this one. Her favourite pastime is getting on top of guys. (No really, check out the picture below).

Sorry dude.. You're not my type. 

Fergusson quite ably stands tall next to Tom, often even exceeding him in the testosterone department.

Simon Pegg, Ving Rhames, and Jeremy Renner reprise their roles from previous films, with Alec Baldwin joining the fray as the Director of the CIA.

Sean Harris, Pegg’s rugged, identical twin, plays the antagonist, as the leader of the Syndicate, giving a Bob Biswas kind of villain, who speaks in a raspy voice, and a volume lower than that of a buzzing bee. Half the time, the viewers have to stick their ears out in order to not miss out on the dialogues of the angry, blond mastermind.

Director Christopher McQuarrie, who has frequently collaborated with Cruise on previous projects like the Edge of Tomorrow, Jack Reacher as well as Valkyrie, provides a decent summer action flick (okay, a little off-season).

VERDICT – 3 out of 5 stars

Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation picks up on the scabs left behind by the previous films, trying to put out some Cruise pastry, which while not as delicious as expected, lands somewhere close in the ballpark.  

Morbid Stuff- Masaan : The Bugle's Verdict

The latest output by Phantom films, Masaan, upholds the honour of the production house, as was anticipated. A painful, gritty, pulsating story, it drowns in the deepest colours of Hinduism and Varanasi, to blossom out like a lotus.

For those that are unaware, ‘masaan’ is a Banarasi slang for ‘shamshaan’ or cremation point. Masaan (known internationally as Fly Away Solo) is the tale of two completely unrelated individuals, Devi and Deepak, whose lives go through a twisted journey to come and converge at the common point i.e. a cremation ghat in Varanasi. Deepak, a civil engineering student, works at the funeral pyres near the Ganga, eventually falling in love with Shaalu, a girl from better circumstances. Devi is a working girl, who is embroiled in a case of the suicide of her student with whom she was caught having intercourse.

Unlike films like Raanjhanaa, Masaan isn’t a pleasant tale showcasing the beauty and culture of Banaras. Sure, it explores into Hinduism and its practices deeply, but to present an extremely sordid view into the lives, desperations and aspirations of the smaller people in the holiest city of India. It explores into the religious and social shackles, restricting people from evolving out of an outdated mindset.

A deeply touching story, coupled with a stellar star-cast and the added name-tag of Phantom films, ensure the arthouse appeal of Masaan, which, as many must be knowing, has been selected to be screened at the 2015 Cannes Film Festival, in the Un Certain Regard category. Though the movie skips ahead at particular points, and is often unable to establish a firm linkage between the characters and the narrative, it eventually succeeds in what it initially set out to.

Richa Chaddha gives another splendid performance as Devi. Her work is a standing testament to her ever-blossoming talent.

 Shweta Tripathi and Vicky Kaushal

Newcomer Vicky Kaushal plays Deepak Chaudhary. His performance is extremely pleasing and he very effectively manages to pull off the Banarasi character.

Sanjay Mishra churns out one of the finest performances of his career, and not too late after his award-winning performance in Aankhon Dekhi. He plays Devi’s desperate father who is losing control over his daughter as well as the situations she has landed herself in.

Neeraj Ghaywan, who assisted Kashyap in the GOT duology, makes his mark in the film industry with this Indo-French collaboration, and brilliant is the one word to describe him.

The music department has been handled by Indian Ocean, who have given exquisite, soulful tracks like 'Tu kisi Rail si' and 'Bhor'. The music and background score ride parallel to the film's mood, and carve out a place for themselves in this beautiful work of art.   

VERDICT – 4 out of 5 stars

This movie isn’t your quintessential Bollywood film, but then you don’t expect one when you go in for a film that is remotely linked to Anurag Kashyap or Vikramaditya Motwane. Though a beautiful film, Masaan is an emotionally afflicting tale and is NOT for just anyone.

But then again... maybe it is.