Poor Joke - Welcome Back : The Bugle's Verdict

Uday and Majnu are back... why??!! Whoever came up with the idea for a sequel to these fools’ story deserves a round of super-slow claps. The only thing that this film by Anees Bazmee was successful in, is proving that Bollywood producers and sequels don’t really fit in the same sentence, except this one of course.

Same storyline, same characters sans Akshay and Katrina, and impeccably ghastly performances by an otherwise decent star line-up, render Welcome Back the candidate for worst film of 2015.

Uday and Majnu have left their gangster lives for a legitimate hotel business, when its revealed that Uday has a second step-sister he never knew about (Yeah, apparently his dad’s quite the player), who must be married if the duo wishes to be part of the fake swayamvar organised by con-women Dimple Kapadia and her daughter (played by newcomer Ankita Srivastava).

Uday and Majnu caught coochee-kooing

And who’s better for this situation than Dr. Ghungroo, the duo’s very own ‘shareef’ bridegroom reserve. Things turn awry for them when its revealed that Ghungroo’s son is apparently not as ‘shareef’ as they supposed him to be.

Rest of the plot you can probably assume, if you've seen Welcome.

The story is painful, lame, but thankfully, forgettable. Truly, the only thing one will remember about this film after watching it is the memory of those painful 2 and a half hours, and that beautiful bucket of cheese popcorn.

Nana Patekar and Anil Kapoor were supposed to be the saving grace for this bad joke. If just they weren’t enough, there were 2 Nanas!! So one can understand how bad the script was, when even their antics illicit nothing ahead of the usual eggs and tomatoes. Anil Kapoor was a sad departure from his recent offering in Dil Dhadakne Do.

John ‘Protein Shake’ Abraham was so, so, so bad, that he was good. He’s supposed to be a brash, stupid sort of street thug, and the bland expressions and stiff dance moves somehow get the job done (Reverse psychology, you see). Shruti Haasan fails at handling her stooping lip job, let alone her rusting acting skills.

New members to the cast are Dimple Kapadia, Naseeruddin Shah and Shiney Ahuja. Dimple’s ordinary, Naseer as a blind crime-lord is immensely pathetic. Shiney on the other hand does decently well as the drug-fuelled, maniac son of Naseer.

Newcomer Ankita Srivastava needs enrolling into an acting institute. ASAFP.

Verdict – 1 out of 5 stars

Nana's reaction to the rating

A film can't be rated in integers. Welcome Back could probably set a precedent. 

I tried to have a good time. I genuinely did. But all this movie was able to accomplish was ruin my memories of the first film. Why, Anees, why?!!